


Redemption

by Lunatical



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Flashbacks, Hopeful Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Bucky Barnes, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Multiple Personalities, Non-Graphic Violence, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, POV Bucky Barnes, Pre-Slash, The winter soldier as a separate personality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-06 01:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunatical/pseuds/Lunatical
Summary: "If Bucky had known, back in the 40s, that he’d have to coexist with another personality in his brain seventy years into the future, he probably would have put a bullet through his head. The fact that he and Winter now managed to get along – at least most of the time, and admittedly after a few months filled with not-so-great communication and mutual assassination attempts – was nothing short of extraordinary."******After remembering they were responsible for the deaths of Howard and Maria Stark, Bucky and the Soldier start watching over Tony in a desperate attempt to redeem themselves. When the Avengers get ready to raid the Hydra base that's housing Loki's scepter, they're there to intervene.Of course, they didn't expect to end up at Stark Tower, living alongside a bunch of superheroes, and they certainly didn't think they'd end up falling in love with Tony Stark. Especially since the man still doesn't know what they've done.Will Tony ever be able to forgive them?





	Redemption

**Author's Note:**

  * For [calmena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmena/gifts).



The air outside the base was freezing.

Bucky was used to it, after his time in the alps during the war. The memory of the howling wind, blasting in his face on that god forsaken train, was not likely to leave him anytime soon. He shivered slightly, the ghost of the memory creeping up on him and chilling him far more than the snow ever could.

Sure, Bucky was good at gritting his teeth and pushing through the discomfort, but he still didn’t have the same resistance to the cold as Winter did.

As soon as that thought crossed his mind, Bucky felt a spark of grim amusement from the back of his consciousness, and Winter pushed forward just enough to put the mental image of cryo-tubes and the Russian snow in Bucky’s head.

Bucky huffed, mentally rolling his eyes. _“Yeah, yeah, I know,”_ he conceded, and Winter went back to his part of their brain, but stayed close to the surface to keep an eye on things.

If Bucky had known, back in the 40s, that he’d have to coexist with another personality in his brain seventy years into the future, he probably would have put a bullet through his head. The fact that he and Winter now managed to get along – at least most of the time, and admittedly after a few months filled with not-so-great communication and mutual assassination attempts – was nothing short of extraordinary.

Bucky felt another spark of pleased amusement from Winter, before a very loud “ _focus”_ echoed through his mind. Winter had made a lot of progress in shedding more and more of his conditioning, but he would always be a soldier at his core, focused on his mission first and foremost.

Bucky shifted slightly, careful not to make too much noise in the snow. Sokovia’s castle was barely visible through the woods, which was helpful in staying hidden, but less so in finding a comfortable vantage spot.

They were about to face two groups of individuals who might consider them a threat, and Bucky wasn’t so keen on rushing towards either of them.

He’d been waiting patiently for almost two hours now. His sniper training helped him in the task, but he was starting to get antsy nonetheless. He wasn’t used to being so idle anymore.

Ever since running away from Hydra, Bucky and Winter had been laying low, trying to regroup and sort through their mangled memories. Winter held most of them, together with the majority of their time as a killing machine, but he had been gradually letting Bucky in, sharing his memories to help sort through their messy past.

It was because of one of those memories that they were sitting there now, waiting for the Avengers to show up and fight Hydra in order to recover Loki’s scepter. Unfortunately, the team didn’t know what was waiting for them, and Bucky had decided to help them however he could.

There was a lot he had to make up for.

***

_His headache kept getting worse and worse. Bucky gritted his teeth, trying to fight back the memories that were threatening to surface._

_Winter sneered at him from inside his own head._

_“You cannot get rid of me! The sooner you face what we’ve done, the sooner we will be free of Hydra’s grasp. Let me out!”_

_Bucky pushed his fingers through his hair, almost tearing the strands out._

_“Shut up! Fucking… shut up!”_

_Winter growled, and the pain exploded. Bucky felt himself getting yanked backwards, until Winter had taken control over his body. He wanted to be sick._

_Winter began to talk, cold and emotionless. “Mission report: December 16, 1991.”_

***

The Soldier was silent as he stalked through the woods. James had given him control over their body for the rest of the mission, after the discomfort he felt sitting around in the freezing wind had eventually become too much for him to handle.

The Soldier did not have such problems. His conditioning had been left behind after they escaped Hydra, but his training remained with him.

Trivial matters like feeling cold and uncomfortable were of no importance when faced with a mission.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a rumbling noise, his enhanced hearing picking up on the sound of an engine mere seconds before the Avengers stormed through the woods.

He tracked them as they burst through Hydra’s perimeter, and then ran alongside them as they began to close in on the castle, his movements easily hidden by the trees.

Black Widow and Hawkeye were on an SUV, closely followed by both Thor and Iron Man who were flying in. The Captain was on his motorcycle, with the Hulk tearing his way through the trees on foot.

At least it seemed that the entire team came prepared to fight. The Soldier doubted it would be enough.

Silently, careful not to be seen, he followed them as they made their way closer to the castle, frowning when Iron Man left the group in favor of flying towards the base on his own. The Soldier’s mission asked that he refrain from interfering until necessary – and since the Avengers didn’t have sufficient intel to win the fight, it _would_ be necessary – but he didn’t want Tony to get hurt.

He kept his eyes open, ready to spot what he was looking for. Or, more precisely, _who_.

A second later, a flash of silver came slamming into the Captain, who fell back onto his feet after being thrown in the air. The man looked around wildly before alerting his teammates through the comms. “We have an enhanced on the field.”

The Soldier scowled. Quicksilver was not the twin he was worried about; the Scarlet Witch, on the other hand, was one of Hydra’s finest, and someone who could very well put in jeopardy the success of the Avengers’ mission.

The twins never strayed far from one another unless there was good reason to. The Soldier’s gaze was immediately drawn towards the castle, where Iron Man had disappeared not too long ago.

James cursed violently in their head, and the Soldier broke into a sprint.

***

_They watched in silence as Stark entered the coffee shop on his morning route towards his office. Bucky still felt weird about literally stalking the man wherever he went, but Winter seemed dead set on gathering intel on Tony Stark. Finding out that they had been the ones behind his parents’ deaths had been difficult, to say the least. But it had also brought them together._

_Bucky was horrified by what they’d done, Winter was desperate to clear some red from his ledger, and they’d decided that protecting Tony Stark was as good a starting point as any. He was, after all, a victim of their past actions, and also one of Steve’s best friends._

_Under their careful gaze Tony exited the shop, coffee in hand and gesturing wildly as he spoke on the phone. They followed his hands as they moved gracefully through the air, and Bucky felt a spark of interest uncurl in his belly._

_Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. What a peculiar man he was._

***

Bucky watched in wonder as Winter made short work of the remaining Hydra agents, not stopping once as they made their way through the castle. He’d never gotten used to his alter-ego’s terrifying competence, and now that their abilities were being used for good, _non-Nazi_ purposes, he had to admit it was quite beautiful to see.

Winter didn’t acknowledge his praise, too focused on the mission at hand. They needed to reach Tony Stark before the witch did.

In the end, they were almost too late.

Winter burst through the doors just as Wanda was reaching for Tony’s head, her hands glowing red, and the Soldier acted on pure instinct.

“Hey!” he yelled, startling both Tony and the witch.

Tony cursed, stumbling backwards away from Wanda, and immediately called for the armor. The witch turned on Winter, rage written all over her face, and he threw a knife at her before she could get her bearings.

A flick of her wrist sent the blade skittering away, but Winter was right behind it, driving his metal fist towards her face.

She blocked it with a grunt, her magic wrapping around his fist and throwing him backwards, but that was fine. He knew he wouldn’t have made contact.

Iron Man’s repulsor blast, on the other hand, slammed right into her back.

With a pained cry, she flew forward, falling onto the ground and rolling for a few feet. She tried to stand up again, but the sound of a gun cocking stopped her.

The Soldier stared at her through the scope. “Stay down.”

Winter heard Iron Man’s heavy footsteps come up beside him, followed by the unmistakable sound of the gauntlets firing up, but he didn’t dare turn around and look.

“Thanks for the assist,” Iron Man said, his metallic voice sounding slightly uncomfortable. “But would you mind telling me why Hydra’s asset is helping me out?”

“I’m not Hydra anymore,” Winter replied, slightly wary. He’d been observing Tony for the past few months, and while he doubted the man was going to attack him, the possibility was there nonetheless.

A dash of silver caught his eye, and he fired his gun on pure reflex. His shot missed the target, and both twins disappeared between one blink and the next.

The Soldier cursed violently in Russian, angry at his own distraction, and slipped back into mission mode, slinging his gun onto his shoulder and hurrying to follow them, even though he knew it was probably useless.

He didn’t get far. Winter stopped dead on his tracks when another figure came running down towards them. There were a handful of tense seconds as the newcomer stared at him in disbelief, and then…

“Bucky?”

***

***

In the end, Bucky was brought aboard the Quinjet with the rest of the Avengers, standing by uncomfortably as Banner tried to recover from his hulk-out and Natasha patched up a nearly unconscious Clint.

Winter had retreated to the back of their consciousness as soon as they’d seen Steve, which wasn’t surprising at all, but it did mean that Bucky was the one left to deal with all the awkwardness and the _emotions_. Steve was alternating between looking baffled and hopeful, ecstatic and distraught all at once. He’d nearly smothered Bucky in a hug when he’d seen him, and looked honestly teary-eyed when Bucky had returned the embrace.

That didn’t mean that the rest of the team had been as thrilled, though. Natasha had almost shot him on sight, and Tony kept stealing glances that Bucky couldn’t really decipher.

He guessed there were worse things that could have happened, though. Sure, he was on a Quinjet headed towards Stark Tower, with his other personality refusing to deal with Steve, and surrounded by a bunch of people who didn’t trust him, but it could have been worse.

At least they weren’t Nazis.

***

_The Soldier watched from the sidelines as Iron Man swept down to blast a doombot. The armor gracefully dipped and rose again, the sleek glint of the metal reflecting the sun and giving Iron Man an almost ethereal look. It was a miracle of technology, beautiful and deadly and so incredibly sexy, and the Soldier yearned to see it up close, to touch it, explore it, discover the man inside it, piloting it with such grace and competence. It made something stir up inside him, something that he had feared had been lost to the ice._

_Iron Man shot another enemy, and the Soldier watched in awe._

***

Arrival at Stark Tower was hectic for everyone involved.

Clint had been wheeled off to the infirmary, followed by Bruce and Helen Cho, a doctor who had been contacted to help patch up Hawkeye. Natasha had pulled Steve to the side, and the two of them had exchanged a few tense words with Maria Hill before Romanov went to check on Barton as well.

After Thor left the ‘jet with the scepter, Tony, Steve and Bucky ended up alone with Hill.

Understandably, she wasn’t sure of Bucky’s miraculous recovery from his brainwashing, but his intel on the Maximoff twins confirmed what she had discovered. Bucky tried to give her as much additional information as he could remember, but Winter was staying stubbornly silent, which meant that Bucky could only relay what memories he had been allowed to see. Nonetheless, Hill seemed pleased enough with his willingness to cooperate and agreed to let him stay at the tower for the time being.

Now, finally alone with Steve and Tony, Bucky was dreading what was to come.

“So,” Tony began, clapping his hands together and facing Bucky with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “welcome to the tower, Terminator. I’m sure Cap here will be more than happy to share his floor with you, but if you want your own space, we do have some empty floors you can use. Other than that, mi casa es tu casa and all that, please don’t kill us in our sleep, and tell JARVIS if you need anything – J is my AI, he runs the tower. I’m going to play with the scepter while I can, and leave you two to catch up on the last 70 years spent apart. You need me for anything, I’ll be in my lab.”

Before either of them could react, he sauntered off with a wave, leaving Steve and Bucky to watch his retreating back.

If Bucky hadn’t been focused on finally being alone with Steve again for the first time since the 40s, he would have appreciated the view much more. Winter, on the other hand, wasn’t much interested in the whole _I have my best friend again_ freak-out, and he did admire Tony’s sinful ass as he made his way to the elevator.

***

_Bucky awoke with a scream, tangled in his sheets and sweating profusely. He frantically kicked them off, falling off the bed in the process and crawling to a corner of the room._

_A soft, horrified whisper of “Sergeant?” kept echoing through his head, mixing with Steve’s disbelieving “Bucky?” in a haunting loop._

_He was going to be sick._

_Winter was silent, so far back inside their head that Bucky could barely feel his presence._

_The image of Steve’s beaten up face flashed before his eyes, before morphing and turning into that of a woman. She was gasping for air, and his fingers clenched tighter around her throat._

_He barely made it in time to throw up in the toilet._

_The following night, he slept in the bathtub._

***

Bucky spent their first few days in the tower solely with Steve. A lot had happened to them since Bucky’s fall from the train, and it was nice to catch up with his best friend. Steve was quite literally the only person alive who could even begin to understand what he’d been through.

Plus, some things were important information Steve needed to know. Starting with the fact that Bucky wasn’t the only personality inside his brain anymore.

Winter straight up refused to meet Steve at first, staying stubbornly anchored deep inside their consciousness and refusing to come out.

One of the first rules they had to agree on was accepting when the other didn’t want to come out, which made things a little difficult, but with some encouragement and a lot of pleading Bucky finally managed to convince Winter to at least meet the man. Steve was taken aback by his cold detachment, and it was painfully obvious that he had no idea how to treat Winter – who was part of Bucky and nothing like him at the same time – but he took it in stride and started acting accordingly.

Bucky was grateful that Steve wasn’t treating him as though nothing had changed – as though _he_ hadn’t changed – but at the same time it was a bit awkward, maneuvering around their relationship when his other personality didn’t like his best friend.

SHIELD had gotten involved too, bringing him for an interrogation and requiring him to pass a few assessments to make sure he wasn’t going to be a danger to any other inhabitants of the tower.

Both Bucky and Winter passed, and they were allowed to stay at Stark tower indefinitely, only requiring mandatory check-ins with the higher ups in SHIELD. Bucky could live with that.

 

Finally speaking to Tony Stark was a lot easier than expected.

They had mutually decided on Bucky being the one to approach him, in case he had any reservations on Winter being dangerous, but their worries seemed to be unfounded.

When JARVIS alerted him of their presence, Tony beamed at them and waved them through his workshop.

“Hey there, Terminator. Fancy seeing you here. Steve told me about the whole,” he gestured vaguely in Bucky’s direction, “two-for-the-price-of-one thing. Sounds weirdly fascinating. So, who am I talking to?”

Bucky took a moment to blink in surprise, trying to find his bearings.

“It’s, uh, Bucky,” he said, smiling when Tony made an interested noise. “Winter is aware of what’s going on, though. He appreciates the consideration.”

Tony waved away his thanks, beckoning him closer instead.

“Nice to meet you officially, Sergeant. Took you long enough. I was afraid good ol’ Cap was never going to leave your side, at this rate. Your return from the dead had him losing his mind.”

Bucky laughed, earning a grin from Tony, and decided to test the waters. He winked at him. “What can I say? I guess I’m a bit irresistible.”

Tony gave him a smug smile, turning so that he was facing Bucky full-on. “Oh, you’re a cocky one, aren’t you?” He gave him a slow once-over, grinning. “Good. I have a feeling we’ll get along. Now, I’ve been dying to take a look at that metal arm, so come sit over here and let me poke at you.”

And then he was gone, too invested in the technology attached to him to pay much attention to Bucky himself. Bucky watched him as he cooed over the arm, feeling caught somewhere between surprised, amused, and slightly overwhelmed.

Winter startled slightly when Tony started prodding at their arm, asking a million questions all at once, but he seemed to settle soon enough.

 _“He’s trying to get a reaction out of us to test our limits,”_ Winter said. Then, slightly more pleased, “ _He’s good. I like him,”_ he continued, as if it wasn’t clear enough. Bucky had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

He snorted when Tony made a frankly awful joke about super soldiers and icicles, not missing the calculating glint in Tony’s eyes. As it turned out, Tony Stark in person was just as fascinating as he seemed from afar.

Bucky watched in excitement as a robot came barreling down towards him, almost running Tony over. The betrayed expression on Tony’s face was so comical that Bucky couldn’t help but start laughing, almost surprising himself with how giddy he felt. Winter preened slightly, managing to convey a smug “ _I told you so”_ while simultaneously feeling a pang of guilt for the secret they were keeping from Tony. Bucky winced mentally. “ _You and me both, buddy._ ”

***

_Pepper laughed loudly, hiding her mouth with her hand, and Tony smirked in satisfaction before leaning back in his chair. The Soldier watched as they ate together, just the two of them, sitting on the softly illuminated roof of an expensive restaurant. The waiters silently brought in more food and water, but quickly left them to their dinner._

_The Soldier scowled. It was dangerous, the two of them sitting out in the open with no one else around. He’d have to make sure that no one disturbed them. It was his mission to protect Tony._

_The way his stomach clenched whenever the sound of their laughter reached him, though, was not part of the mission._

_“It should be us, on that roof, with him,” James whispered in his head. The Soldier scowled, annoyed by the unnecessary remark, and pointedly did not acknowledge the fact that he agreed with him._

***

In the following weeks, Bucky kept growing closer and closer to Tony.

At first, their interactions were mostly superficial. A wink here, a few witty lines there, an innuendo and a quick laugh, Tony rambling for hours about nothing at all, basic conversations about everyday life. But then, almost without realizing it, Bucky started to open up more; suddenly, he was telling Tony about Steve being sick back in the day, about how he and Winter had learned to cooperate, how the metal arm was so heavy it made it almost impossible to stand comfortably without straining his shoulder.

In turn, Tony slowly began to let Bucky catch glimpses underneath his carefree façade, be it a small comment about his past, venting about the stresses of SI, excitedly walking Bucky through his latest project, or even giving him advice on how to reconnect with Steve.

With how different their respective lives had been, Bucky was almost surprised by how much they had in common: their sense of humor matched up perfectly, they were both helpless flirts, they knew what it meant to hurt others without meaning to, they both had learned what it felt like to be broken again and again and still keep going.

A month into their stay at the tower, when Tony had already become Bucky’s closest friend right behind Steve, Winter decided to introduce himself to Tony.

 

Tony looked up when he walked into the lab, already smiling at James, but his face fell as soon as he laid eyes on him. A small frown creased his brow, more confused than anything.

“Bucky?”

“No,” the Soldier replied, searching Tony’s face for any signs of displeasure.

He didn’t find any. If anything, Tony seemed excited. “Well then, it finally seems I’m meeting the oh so elusive Winter Soldier.”

The Soldier nodded, but didn’t say anything. He’d been observing Tony for so long, he felt like he’d known the man for years, but the familiarity clearly wasn’t mutual.

Tony didn’t seem all too worried about it. “So, is there a reason for your visit, or is this just a merry coincidence?” he asked, still looking at the Soldier with interest.

His stance was open, welcoming. He did not seem scared, or worried about having an assassin in his lab. The Soldier was pleased, but did not allow himself to smile.

“I thought it was a good time to meet you,” he said, his voice feeling almost foreign after so long without using it. “James has grown close to you. I would like to do the same.”

Tony’s smile was beaming. “Sounds good to me, Terminator.” Then he hesitated. “Do you mind me calling you that? What name should I give you?”

The Soldier had to think for a second. “James calls me Winter, and so does Captain Rogers. I think of myself as the Soldier.” A brief pause, then, “My handlers did not find it necessary to give me a name. To them, I was the Asset.”

That brought a tense expression on Tony’s face. “I’m… not calling you Asset, that’s for sure. Do you dislike me giving you nicknames?”

The Soldier shook his head, and Tony smiled again. “Good to know. Now come here, Frosty, I’ve got some updates for your rifle and I want to hear your feedback.”

The Soldier gave him his input, and then followed him onto the shooting range to test his new weapon. The rifle, quite literally designed to be perfect for him, felt heavenly in his hands. Almost as good as the satisfaction of a pleasantly surprised Tony Stark, who was suitably impressed when the Soldier wiped every single target with a perfect bullseye.

With Tony standing next to him, relaxed and elated from his tech working perfectly, the guilt for what they’d done weighed heavier than ever on his and James’ shoulders.

***

***

Bucky decided he’d had enough a few days later, while he and Steve were in the gym, warming up before sparring.

“Does Tony know?” he asked, glancing at Steve briefly before going back to his stretches. Had it been anyone else, Bucky wouldn’t have noticed Steve’s rhythm had faltered for a second, and he would have missed the tension snapping in his shoulders. But Bucky had known the punk since they could barely write their own names, and even 70 years later he could still read Steve like an open book.

“Know what?” Steve asked, without stopping with his punching bag.

Bucky scowled a bit. He didn’t like it when Stevie played dumb.

“Know that I killed his parents,” he replied, sitting up out of his exercises in favor of looking for Steve’s reaction.

Steve sighed and stood back, stopping the bag when it swung towards him. He moved to the side of the room, untying his wrapped hands. He was tense, almost ready to snap, and Bucky knew the answer before he even spoke.

“He doesn’t,” Steve started, “but it’s not because I…”

He stopped, blew out a frustrated breath, then moved back to stand over Bucky who was still sitting on the floor.

“I didn’t have proof,” Steve continued, and it sounded like a lie.

Bucky found it wise to tell him so. “You’ve never been able to bluff me, punk. You knew it was me.”

“It _wasn’t_ you, though, Bucky!” Steve snapped, suddenly angry. “It was Hydra. And Tony wouldn’t have understood that without knowing you, and you were still on the run and I didn’t know if you were even _you_. If I had told him, he would have tried to come after you, and I couldn’t-” he choked and fell silent, blinking rapidly against the tears in his eyes.

Bucky huffed, caught somewhere between annoyed and empathetic, before rising to stand and face Steve.

“You really are an idiot, sometimes.”

Steve flinched at that, so Bucky pulled him into a hug, a bit awkwardly since Steve didn’t return it immediately.

When he did, though, Bucky had to thank Zola for the serum he gave him, because Steve was about this close to smothering him to death.

“We have to tell him, Steve,” he sighed, rolling his eyes when Steve tensed again in his arms.

To his surprise, though, Steve didn’t pull away.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I was a coward, and he deserves to know. _But_ -” Steve stepped back, looking Bucky right in the eye. “I’ll be the one who tells him, and if he comes after you, I’ll have to stop him. I don’t want to hurt him, Bucky, but their deaths weren’t your fault, and you won’t pay the price for it.”

Bucky studied his face for a second, finding only the same, infuriating stubbornness he had known since forever. Finally making a choice, he nodded, and Steve smiled a bit ruefully.

Bucky really didn’t have a good feeling about this.

***

_The Soldier was yanked forward from the hazy place in the back of their head, where he ended up sometimes when he wasn’t aware of what was happening, only to find himself in control of their body. He stumbled, disoriented, before fully realizing what had happened._

_James had never forced him out before._

_The Soldier immediately went into mission mode, scanning his surroundings for danger. They were in their apartment, the one they’d been using for the past few weeks, but nothing seemed wrong. He tried to reach for James, only for a wall of panic to slam into him._

_“They know!” was the only thing James said, flashes of being followed home throwing themselves at Winter’s mind. One of them was clearer than the others, a blond, buff man trying to blend into the crowd._

_Steve was after them._

_Fifteen minutes later, the Soldier was on the run. They had gotten too cocky, staying in New York for so long. They needed to move._

***

Steve was going to get himself killed.

He’d sent a text to Natasha to let her know about what was happening, and she had probably briefed the rest of the team on the situation as Steve made his way down to the lab. Bucky had hovered anxiously on his floor, unable to see the others after Steve had ordered him to stay put.

How Steve hoped to escape the tower if things went wrong was beyond Bucky. Tony had weaponized his home, with his armors just a few seconds away, multiple emergency protocols put in place after the mess with Loki, and probably the most lethal defense system in the entire world: JARVIS.

Speaking of which…

“Hey, J?”

“Yes, Mr. Barnes?”

He hesitated. “Do you know what’s about to happen?”

A few seconds of silence passed before the AI replied.

“I do know why the Captain wishes to speak to Sir, Sergeant. However, even I cannot predict Sir’s reaction.”

“So, you…” Bucky stopped, worrying at his lip for a second. “You know what I did? And you didn’t tell Tony?”

“There are protocols in place that stop me from relaying private conversations to my creator, Sergeant, unless they pose a direct threat to him. Had you and the Captain decided not to tell him, I would have. But I felt that in this particular case, Mr. Rogers had a better chance at taking Sir’s inevitable wrath than I did.”

For some reason, that startled a laugh out of Bucky. “So what, you’re hoping that Steve takes the blame instead of you?”

“Not quite, Sergeant. Sir will need help to deal with what has come to light. Statistics show that I, above all others, am most likely to be able to help him. He can shut down the lab to keep Miss Potts and Mr. Rhodes out, but he can’t do the same with me. If he mutes me, I’ll still be able to watch over him and protect him, unless he completely shuts me down.”

“And he would never do that,” Bucky finished, relaxing slightly. “Thank you, JARVIS.”

“My pleasure, Mr. Barnes. And if it is of any consolation, I do believe that Sir will come around. He, too, knows what it’s like to lose one’s control over their own choices.”

Bucky didn’t reply, too worried to think of a fitting reply. He finally settled and forced himself to wait.

 

Steve left the workshop almost three hours later, alone and mostly unharmed. He was rubbing at his forehead like he had a bad headache, but he didn’t look too shaken.

“So,” Bucky prompted, “are we fugitives again?”

Steve glared at him, but it didn’t have any real heat behind it. “Not yet,” he deadpanned. Then, a bit more ruefully, “There was a lot of yelling, and Tony was… hurt. Really hurt. I think he’s going to be mad at me for a long time. But he also took it better than I expected. He’s grieving, I think, and he might not want to have anything to do with you, but I don’t think he blames you.”

Bucky slumped in relief, feeling almost shaky as all the adrenaline left his body.

“Thanks, Stevie,” he said, clapping his best friend on the shoulder. “I know how much this cost you, taking the fall for something that was my fault.” He stopped Steve when he immediately frowned, visibly gearing himself up to reprimand him. “I know what happened was out of my control. But still… it’s a weight off my shoulders. So thank you, punk.”

Steve smiled. “Till the end of the line, remember?”

They stayed there in companionable silence for a while, and Bucky allowed himself the privilege of relaxing slightly. He finally had a home. He wouldn’t have to run anymore.

Three days later, Tony asked him to meet him in his workshop.

***

***

_The Soldier took down a Hydra agent, quickly disarming him and snapping his neck. He was almost disappointed in Hydra: first, they had gotten so sloppy with their encryption that he’d managed to catch wind of an information exchange that was about to go down. Then, one of his informants had managed to give him the exact date and place of said exchange, and now the agent had been so painfully easy to follow and kill that the Soldier almost had to wonder if it was a trap._

_He searched the body, trying to find the message that was supposed to be delivered. He found it in one of the man’s pockets, rolling his eyes at the lack of creativity._

_This had always been one of Hydra’s main problems: tight security and secrecy among the higher ranks, but no one capable enough to check on the little guys. Their numbers were their biggest strength and their biggest weakness._

_Unfolding the paper, the Soldier almost dropped it in shock when he read the message._

_“Enemy en route for the stick. Prepare for their arrival. No back-up: use the twins.”_

_He could feel James’s confusion in his mind, and he quickly summoned the memory of an alien scepter, a cold Sokovian base, and a little girl with red eyes. James’s confusion morphed into horror, and the Soldier disposed of the agent’s body before running to their apartment. Now that he’d intercepted the message, Hydra wouldn’t know the Avengers were coming, but the Avengers had no idea about the twins and their powers._

_James and the Soldier needed a plan, and then a trip to Sokovia was waiting for them._

***

In all the months he had spent following Tony Stark, Bucky had never been afraid of him. Not as Iron Man, not as Tony Stark, certainly not as Tony, his friend.

Now, standing outside the workshop doors, staring at his reflection on the blacked-out glass, he was absolutely terrified.

“J?” he called out, unsure of what to do next.

The doors opened with a whoosh, but the AI remained silent even as Bucky made his way inside the lab. The place was almost eerily quiet, with the bots tucked away in their charging stations, no loud music blasting through the speakers, and no wild and manic energy filling the air.

Bucky scanned the room in search of Tony, and found him sitting on the ratty couch where Bucky used to spend his afternoons when he joined him in the lab.

Tony looked terrible, quite frankly. His hair was a greasy mess, and he clearly hadn’t been sleeping, if the bags under his eyes were any indication. Bucky hadn’t thought it possible to feel even more guilty than he already did.

Clearly, he was wrong.

Neither of them said anything for a few long, tense moments, before Tony’s voice broke the silence.

“Did you know?” he asked, his voice a terrible shadow of what it usually was. Bucky felt sick.

“Yes.”

It hurt, even admitting that much.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Bucky debated lying for a second, and immediately regretted that thought.

“Because I was scared.”

“Of me?”

“Of losing you.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed dangerously, his hands clenching on his lap. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and stapling his fingers in front of his mouth.

They stayed there for what felt like an eternity, before Tony spoke again, his words carefully measured.

“I found the files. Your files. I read what they did to you.”

Bucky closed his eyes, a rush of shame washing over him. It still felt like it was his fault, what Hydra did to him. “I’m sorry,” he said, and it felt inadequate coming out of his mouth.

Tony hummed, but didn’t say anything, his leg bouncing nervously as he silently stared at Bucky.

“Do you remember them?”

“No. Winter does. He remembers all of them.”

“Can I talk to him?”

Bucky hesitated, and then he nodded, closing his eyes. Winter was close enough to the surface already, so it shouldn’t be hard for them to switch.

The Soldier opened his eyes.

“Mission report: December 16, 1991.”

Tony flinched, then shot to his feet.

“Don’t,” he barked. “I’m not your fucking handler.”

The Soldier nodded, falling into parade rest almost unconsciously. He might not have been their handler, but if Tony had wanted to punish them, the Soldier would have let him.

Tony started pacing around, growing increasingly more agitated, until he cursed violently and stormed right up to the Soldier.

The Soldier widened his stance, bracing for impact.

“You’re really fucking hard to hate, do you know that?”

Before he could understand what Tony meant, the Soldier was yanked into a hug, stumbling as Tony’s arms latched around his neck. His mind completely blanked for a second, like the physical touch had scrambled his ability to think, and then with a start he returned the embrace – hesitant at first, then tightening his hold when Tony crowded close against him.

“I’m really fucking angry right now,” Tony said, voice wet but steady. “At you, at Steve, at Hydra. Mostly at Hydra.”

The Soldier didn’t move, but the words lifted some of the fear from James’s heart.

“We’re sorry.”

“I know. I’m sorry too. But it’s gonna be ok, I just need some time to… to come to terms with this.”

The Soldier hugged him tighter, burying his face in Tony’s neck.

“We’ll wait. You don’t owe us anything, but we’ll take everything you’re willing to give us.”

With a shaky sigh, Tony moved back just enough to meet his eyes. He bit his lower lip, a nervous gesture that betrayed his uncertainty.

“So I wasn’t reading too much into it when-” he winced, cutting himself off, then continued after a beat. “It felt like we were going _somewhere_ , before this happened. I mean… us, our relationship.”

The Soldier nodded, for once unable to read Tony’s emotions. “James and I both feel the same way towards you. We had to tell you now because we couldn’t live with ourselves if you returned our feelings without knowing. It would have been…”

He shrugged, unable to find a fitting word to describe the utter _wrongness_ of that thought.

Tony grimaced. “Yeah,” he said. His fingers were gently playing with the Soldier’s hair, which was far more distracting than it had any right to be considering the situation, but he clearly was unaware of what his hands were doing.

“I don’t know how to feel right now,” Tony admitted, still worrying at his lips. “This is… a lot. Too much, maybe. I _know_ it wasn’t fault, and I don’t hate you, but it’s like my emotions haven’t caught up to my brain just yet.”

Tony looked torn, like he was being pulled in two directions at once. The Soldier could relate.

With a frustrated sigh, Tony finally looked up at the Soldier. As their eyes locked together, something seemed to settle in Tony’s features.

Suddenly much less conflicted, Tony took a step back, shifting until he was holding the Soldier’s face in his hands. He leaned up and pressed a soft, chaste kiss onto the Soldier’s lips.

It lasted merely a second, and then he moved back to hug the Soldier, hiding his face in his chest.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” he whispered, somewhere between pained and grimly amused. Then, more loudly, he added, “Thank you. Both of you."

They stayed there, in each other’s arms, until they felt calm enough to pull apart. The road in front of them would be hard, and they were all aware of how much pain and heartache was waiting for them.

But right now, there was still hope.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope my giftee will like this fic even if it ended up being a bit angstier than expected (sorry!).
> 
> Many thanks to [@HogwartsToAlexandria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria) for being super sweet and an incredible beta, and a TON of love for my darling [@FreyaS](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyaS) who's an amazing friend and the bestest cheer reader a girl could ask for.
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr over [@lunaticalwriter](http://lunaticalwriter.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


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